Get well soon...

It’s amazing knowing how our kids grow up. The pureness of their thoughts many times is beyond our awareness. Their understandings of things around them are sometimes create one touching idea, that we would never thought that they will do.

Day by day I do try to give examples in life which are easy for Anabel to understand. Deep inside I want her to understand and manage her heart and mind into a better way. Though I’m not forcing her to accept all lessons but more like let her sees and feels through action in our daily lives because I believe that children have their own way in sharpening the instruments of their body and mind.

Like this past two weeks, she kept asking me how is Katie is doing (Katie is my friend’s daughter who lives in London) since I told her that Katie was going to have an operation (she has an illness and need to take an operation).

I know that the thought keep staying in her mind until a night before we sent a wishing well card through my e-mail.

It started when I asked her about thing she wants to do to make her friend be happy even though she is sick. She answered by saying that it would be nice if she could send a picture for Katie and writes some words. We worked on the picture until late because I’m not very good either in using Photoshop. It wasn’t finished that night but she had asked my help to finished it because she must be in bed.

Thing that more surprising was the day after, it was evening when I told her that her uncle UK (Katie’s Dad ) had replied the email and they love the picture we sent. Then she came up again with another idea, she asked me whether it is possible to send Katie a doll. I was so touched by her innocence words; I never thought that she had such a big attention to someone. And I just answered that it might be possible to do it….. Then I could see her big smile.

I always appreciate smile and nice words then the blessed is around. Without i realize my kid has growing and had amazed me and being beside and stand by her in such a precious moment is something that I won’t trade with anything.

Uncle UK, you are one lucky father for having a strong and beautiful daughter like Katie…

For my dear friends

Time flies and things changed, doesn’t matter whether we like it or not but we have to face it still. Grateful for what we’ve got even though not all as we expected to be but that just the way God teaches us on how we could react on those.

There is always a losing part in each life that one is trying to cope. Sometimes it seemed too complicated to be understood and the feeling of just don’t want to face it may occurs. Many times we escaped myself from it, when heart full of sadness remembering those. Sometimes the feeling of just want to do something which we couldn’t do kind of frustrating… normally we just can’t help it. Usually we do activities to help our self relieved the feel. Like I’m doing now….

Though from outside people may see us as a strong happy person but when we come into the situation above, it feel like we’re too fragile in facing life…. Things that should keep us survive is that the goal and some precious things we consider in our life that will keep us aware along our way. I believe every time we are back to the understanding of every human being has their own duty in this life; we shall find some strength to keep going.

I know that we were created for one meaning. I’m sure that each of us has something that finally brings us into life we have now. All things in the past, things we do now, what we become and what we want to do next have relation one to each other. Just be sure that we walk on the right track, though mistakes sometimes occur on the way consider those as lessons to learn.

Now, let’s completing our future, do things we should do at the moment. I believe that each of us have problems with different type and character and it would be worth if we could find the point of it. Keep trying and learning with the support of family and all friends. They are important elements in our life.

You are not alone my friend ...

The beautiful Mokena

Being favorite teacher among my students is not something that I reach for nor my intention. I consider that as another gift I’m grateful with. The relation I’ve been built with not only my students but also their parents has resulted something wonderful. During my time of teaching I always try to create condition which is possible for me and my students to have fun and worth time. I may say that I could make it in almost time, though some are not.

Those things above shall be the frame of my story this time, because I’m not going to tell about what I’m doing with my students but more like thing I just did have the connection and the background of it.

This afternoon one of my student’s Mom gave me some gifts (kinds of food and a Mokena; outfit clothes for doing sholat/pray for Muslim woman). I brought those things home and the one that attracted my attention was the Mokena, usually people give that kind of thing just a day or two before “Idul Fitri” (one of big holiday for Muslims) with intention of giving ‘new’ clothes for the day. But this woman gave me ‘Mokena’ on the third day of fasting month, I was kind of thinking of the sincerity of the woman because instead of waiting for ‘Idul Fitri, she decided to give me on early fasting month.

I was happy when I opened it. It is a fine cotton fabric with simple but elegant embroidery, I love it very much. This might be the best I ever had, but suddenly another idea crossed on mind. The sincerity of the woman had made me think of the same thing to another person.

Just two doors next to my house, live an old woman. She lives alone, everyday she sells some cooked food to be sold to make her living. Actually she’s got 3 children but their condition also not helping much so she decided to make her own living so that she doesn’t have to bother her children…. She’s quite tough old woman, in the uncertainty of her condition she maintain struggle…

I went to her house this evening and gave her some of the food that I just got….then backed home. The Mokena was still lying on the edge of my bed and it’s kind of distracting me…. Like something attract me…. Sounds from my heart told me to do something with that. I was still waiting for like an hour when finally I understood what my heart just talked.

I hurry back to the old woman’s house and gave her the Mokena. I said that it would be nice for her wearing the Mokena during sholat tarawih (kind of night pray do in the mosque together for a month) in Ramadhan. She was very surprised and I could see the happiness and touchiness at the same time. Guess those feeling are also surrounded me. I could feel it into the deepest part of my heart … again God had let me experience such a beautiful moment for times.

Can I stay over, Mom?

This would be the first day that Anabel not staying home. Yesterday morning, after she joined me to the ‘the free English course’ she decided to stay over in my friend’s house and had a sleeping overnight. The house is 1 hour far from my house. My friend’s daughter is actually one of Anabel’s favorite big sister friend, they could get along well. Since today we have 3 days holiday, I finally had to be agreed letting her stayed there. It is quiet surprising me that she managed things very well without having mommy around and for me; it is new experience spending one night without her present at home.

I realize that this is only one little start of the changing I will have next; my daughter is growing into a brave little girl and the nicest thing that she able to make her own decision and has responsibility of it. Though I’m very happy of her big step but still the other side, is I don’t like the idea of being apart from her even only for one night. My husband keeps convincing me that this only a start, and says that there would be lots of things changed during our journey without we realize it.

Guess that… I also have to be growing myself. Realizing and aware of things around me which may change suddenly. One thing that I learn is that I’m turning into ‘real Mom’ part, a part where I am required to be more mature than before and also coped with other’s decision.

Have a nice sleeping over night with kakak Hany, Anabel…..

Loves

Mommy

It had opened My mind

It was 10 years ago when I believe that my mind was opened to see, understanding and also learn about another people’s life besides mine. The idea of doing more for others who need our support started when one day me and my friend had a visit to one of the orphan house in the city of Mataram in west Lombok area.

That day we wanted to donate some money there, when we had a chance to look around inside the orphan’s house, suddenly the idea of teaching them English came up. Then we started to teach there every Saturday night, that was the only day that we could get day off from work. It was great seeing them very enthusiastic in accepting the lesson. Me myself enjoyed my new activity though at the same time I still did things which were the contrary of it… yup… to be frankly that I also did activities really waste money for nothing.

Day by day it ran well, even though my aim wasn’t really 100% teaching but more was because I had another personal interest. Until one day, when I came late… never crossed in my mind that those students of mine were waiting patiently, sitting nicely with their sarong and a piece of book on their hands…. They were about 40 boys, that day I could see that things I did there were meant a lot for them and aware me of what is giving. I think that would be the day that I’ve started to see another live besides kind of live I have.

I won’t say that I’ve changed but more like opened… yes, my understanding of how should we share and give to others started growing. I continued doing those things until one day it should stop when I decided to leave the city by my own willing. Something had caused me leaving my job and things I have had, there was a condition which was a bit hard for me to compromise. I had to pull myself back from any condition would make myself even more drown and maybe I was also too young to understand that life actually has its own complicated part.

It was year of 2000 when I started to be a teacher in one of American nursery and preschool in Jakarta (I had moved back to jakarta since then). New experiences began there, as teacher I had to work for children most of the times and my sensitivity as woman and teacher was growing, I enjoyed those very much. My new friends there had given me valuable things that I could learn about, thanks for them and not mention those students of mine who are adorable … things were wonderful.

I wasn’t sure how did it start, what I remember well was finally I gave a hand to my friend who had an idea teaching children in “ tempat penampungan sampah” (dump) area. It was in north Jakarta, right in front of one of the biggest recreation park. They were only about 20 children from elementary to secondary school, not much that I could tell because it was just stop after about three months and I didn’t really understand the reason. But I believed that I got my lesson there which make my mind again were opened.

Written by wiwin
Jakarta, august 27th 2008 (01.55 am)

The luckiest creature

We many times don’t realize of wonderful things we’ve got as gifts that other people might not have it. Or some other time, we are too busy find things outside to make us happy, but once we must experience when we thought we don’t need to find those because it’s actually in front of our eyes. Couple days ago, I had the experience when I again… grateful for what I’ve got. As Mom and a teacher I’m quite busy every day. Having very tight teaching schedule which makes me many times away from home. I usually start teaching early around 8.00 am and finish about 20.00 pm. Practically, I have very limited time to spend with Anabel. Deep inside I want to take her out on weekend and having time together on a picnic or taking her to children’s game station but I couldn’t. weekend is the most busiest day for me, I have to take care my “free English course” which I open only Saturday and Sunday. Though, Anabel seems to understand it well, but still I feel guilty for her that I don’t have one special day to spend. Every morning I always take my daughter to school before going teaching, even though only drop her off (never stay around or wait) but I’m trying to always do it. Last Friday, I did but I decided to stay for awhile. I parked my motorcycle and watched her from outside the school’s fences. That day she would have PE (sport subject), and from a distance I could she her with her friends were about to have it. I was sitting alone on my bike and wondering what movements would they make. I watched them and…. Seeing my lovely daughter doing her exercises. I could see her,….. the way she moves her arms, legs and body, the way she did a little jump and those mistaken movements of hers. She was smiling, looked very happy doing that with her friends……..and while sitting, the strange feeling of happiness captured me when Anabel looked at me in a distance for just a glance. That time I found myself as the luckiest creature for having a chance to see those wonderful moments. It had given me one understanding which is make me not to worry of those limitation that I have for her. I was positively sure that what we had this morning was another gift.

I'm happy

These last two weeks, I’ve been happier than before. Last week, when my free english course ( a kind of course where the students don't have to pay any tuition) have started again after having semester holiday. Many new students registered themselves, all of my students come from " the unluckiest " part of the comunity. They were very curious in learning even though some of them are just followed their friends. There were about 50 students from elementary school and my classroom was out of table. So,…. Some of them have to write on the floor, but amazingly they enjoyed all lessons I‘ve been giving. With the limitation I have in doing my project, I feel great on the other hand by looking at their happy faces and voices every time they stepping into my class. My tiring and exhausting are paid.

The spirit of 17 august

I couldn't find the spirit of 17 august this couple last years, the feeling of losing something i used to have when i was a kid had shown up. And i don't want my kids growing without having those feeling of nationalims of our country. i tried to introduced them the spirit by creating activities while i'm also teaching and guiding them to find back "the 17 august spirit". just yesrteday, i did things (racing and competitions) for the kids in the neighborhood with the hope that those will raise up again and refresh their memories of our Independence day "MERDEKA"

Birthday party

Bela started the day by waking up late, because its holiday and mom allow her to be late. Dad like always, has already sat down doing his comic projects in front of the computer. Usually Bela likes to ask for computer game during holiday because that would be the only day she could have chance to use dad’s computer. Though she has her own but it’s a bit improper so couldn’t do much with hers, but this time she was just quiet by the couch. Everybody was wondered …..
Mom came n asked what does she want for breakfast, she was just waved but mom prepared “pisang penyet” it’s her kind of fried banana with choc rice n again cheese on top….. After like half hour finally she talked. She want Dee-dee to fed her eating the banana.
When she finished taking a bath, she looked fresher n like always mom gives her kisses on her cubby cheeks. You know what words she said….? “Mom, can I have a birthday party?”… Mommy was quiet for a while then “yes off course bel… if things are possible”. Bela was very happy and started planning about kind of party she wants. “I want to send invitation cards to all my friends from the school and my friends in the neighborhood, having piñata, decoration with colorful balloons and birthday cake with princess character on it”.
Morning passed n mom didn’t say anything yet about her plan.
Dad and Mom sometimes have tea in the afternoon, mom is a bit crazy with tea, she is a tea lover. And dad was just trying to accompany her drinking. They called for bela and tell her that it will be ok for her to have a birthday party but they wonder why wouldn’t bela just asked their neighbors by afternoon, have cakes together and give them some goody bags. Bela refused the idea instantly and insisted to have one like her plan. Besides, mom thought that she would not have enough money this time to have kind of party but she also wondered about her aim of a party.
Dad finally asked “why should we send invitation Bel..? “ “Off course we have to, I want to have as much presents as I always see in a party” bela replied quickly. Oops… mom and dad understand about what she had in her mind, they were just smiled.” All right then, but how about your friend who doesn’t have enough money for buying any gift? they will be ashamed to come”. Actually mommy know that bela didn’t understand that question yet, so she explain about when we want to have a party means that we will share joy and happiness and all people who attend the party should be happy as well, no one shall be sad because couldn’t give something.
“ Bela, in a party we shall give not ask… let your friends enjoy it without thinking of should give something to you” again Mom tried to convinced her and dad add it by saying that around their neighborhood still there are many people who are not as lucky as bela’s family in having things in materials. Though the family also just a bit luckier than them.
Bela was crying and go to her room, mom followed her and take her in her arms and kissed her hair top while saying “ would you like de’ fitri’s parents, our neighbor be in trouble because instead of using their money to buy rice and food, they buy present for you and the next day they couldn’t eat” mommy should take an example that bela could understand easily, and she did… she understand it quickly as always. Mom know that she would, her effort all this time to teach her some values to understand again came into success. Mom knows her daughter more than anyone do… again bela show her big open heart as a little girl.


May 19th 2008
“Finally I could tell you what a party is, HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY DEAR “

Who are they, Mom?

Bela is a bright and active 5 years old girl but you would not think of things she might have done if you read this story. She is quite nice but sometimes she can be a bit naughty and kind hearted little girl as well.
Her mom is a teacher and her father is an artist. He paints and writes books and comics. Her mom is quite busy everyday with her English teaching schedule. She is a very active woman and of course she loves Bela very much. While, her father, is around her many times since he does all his art activities at home. oopps almost forget, actually Bela has a big brother, named Kanaka but he lives with their grandparents.
Last Friday night, Mom took her to “her favorite” meat ball restaurant because Mom had promised her before. Finally Bela went with Mom and her Nanny “Dee Dee” that’s the way she calls her. They went by motorcycle. It was evening and the road was a little bit crowded with vehicles.
When they got there the restaurant was almost full so, Mom chose a table by the entrance. Just like always, Bela ordered “big cheese meat balls”. She’s got a bit crazy with cheese as a Mather of fact. While they were eating and enjoying their meat balls, a middle age woman and a little girl came closer to their table.
Bela was a bit confused of this situation. She didn’t understand why did those people seems like asking something. Mom said something to her “give one of your chocolate you’ve just bought”. “No it’s mine”, Bela replied upsetly. “Come on Bela , you have two anyway, give one to the girl”, mom insisted. Bela was about to cry until mom said that she would buy another one to replace it. Bela finally gave one of her chocolate and she also saw mom give small money to the woman.
They walked out from the restaurant after that. Mom knew that Bela was even more confused. She knew that Bela didn’t want to give her chocolate. Mom looked at her and smashing her hair while saying, “Did you know who they are? Bela was just waving. “They are beggars”. “What is beggar mom?” then mom explained that beggars are just some of unlucky people that have to live in poverty. Mom also told that what we have given might be used for them. Even though mom would really like to tell that sometimes the beggars were not always unlucky but another time caused by laziness but she only let Bela learn about sharing not only with someone you know but also everyone, even you don’t know them. Mom told Bela that whenever we give something we would get something, instead of lose something… actually that’s the idea of sharing. Mom believed that her little girl could get the message, she looked at her and wondered about things in her mind, … they looked each other and they smiled happily.

Fasting month 2007
“Giving is about getting not losing, HAPPY LEBARAN DAY”

How do I start…..

Today is just like any other day, nothing much. Many thoughts had crossed my mind since couple weeks before, when the Government released the issue of “kenaikan BBM” by June 2008
Thinking of some changes in many aspects had made me upset. Not only because I have to again review my family expenses but also more about how we as citizens should cope with those new coming problems…. Feels like I want to cry seeing these uncertainty that happened in my beloved country, but I’d rather think of what I could possibly do in order to get new understanding regarding of the conditions. I don’t want to live in “ignorance” like those people who rules the country, though my hands are too small to do things in changing the situation but I want to do something in giving views through my activities. At least I would not let my family, friends , people we love and Indonesians be “ignorance” of a kind of situation.
The best way to start building the “empathy sharpness” is from our self, our own community. As a frame, I would say that I’m a bit lucky in material conditions since my neighborhood is a kind of mix communities which I may say that the unlucky people are still more than 50%. The area is quite enjoy full with kinds people even though the street isn’t considered as proper street but it’s quite safe especially for my kids who are always left by me and my husband for work, besides it’s not an easy thing to find more comfortable area nowadays with small money.
My experiences as a teacher who’s always get in touch with middle up class of people in teaching, had taught me to learn more about coping with kinds of life. I’ve proof that those who never get in touch with poverty would not be easily able to use their empathy instruments as its use. They are trapped in the condition of “prosperity” which had made them dull in seeing another life besides theirs which are even more unluckier than them.
As parent, I don’t want it happen to my kids, as possible as I can, I always try to create condition that make it possible “memungkinkan” for my kids be in touch “bersinggungan” or living aside with the unluckiness which I believe that it would automatically sharp their instruments. My duties also as teacher, to give understanding about those to my students on how should they react.
Many experiences happened between me and my little girl and also my students finally had created many ideas in bringing up “moral values” and lighting up today’s realities, especially for children. Here I try to brief those into stories which I call “Wiwin’s Diary”